Posted in Mask Off

Secrets of the Notes

It’s crazy the amount of conversations that will never happen I write down In my notes. Books that will never be read, thoughts that will never be spoken, stories that will never be told.

I probably already created a million universes by now, broke up with you a million times, married you five seconds later, became a world famous author had three kids and a dog. Yet none will ever know

All hypothetical situations that never came into fruition hanging out at the palm of my hand… Only the virtual pages of my notes has experienced them yet will never tell a single soul…

How much I thought created, loved, laughed, lived inside my head day after day year after year never having the courage to bring it to reality. The secrets in my notes. How badly I wanted… everything and more.

Posted in Mask Off

Bits and Pieces

it used to be harder like a lot harder,

to come to terms with what happened at the time it all just felt unreal and impossible even i thought i imagined it all

Atleast it would be easier if it all you know, was just a bad dream?

like i would rather be hated by everyone around me including my closest friend than to have admit to myself that it was real.

although it sucks being hated by everyone who used to ride or die for you it’s a lot better than accepting you weren’t the villain and in fact you were the victim and therefore you are now broken.

thats how we carry on pretend the bad things are just made up and isn’t true.

the thing is it is true, it’s very true when you wake up the next day with marks and bruises and have no recollection of getting them.

just bits and pieces….

and you just try to tell yourself with those bits and pieces, it was right it’s what you wanted.

but deep deep down, you know it wasn’t

because if it was you would want to be able to remember all of it and you would’ve done it before.

but you didn’t

it was taken from you

Posted in Mask Off

“Why is everything so Heavy?”

On July 20th 2017, a beloved musician that goes by the name of Chester Bennington

lead singer of a famous rock band called “Linkin Park” was found dead the cause suicide.

This has been bothering me a long time, I finally am going to give my thoughts on the late musician, but before I uncover the sad obvious things that everyone seems to ignore.

Let me tell you about the comments i heard because they all sounded exactly the same.

“It was the drugs” “It was because of drugs” “He did too many drugs”

Although drugs probably played a small role in it, it wasn’t the drugs, because it wasn’t an “overdose”. Secondly, he has played with drugs to deal with his demons for most of his life why would he lose control now.

He wasn’t a washed up star in someone’s basement shooting heroin at the time of his death, he was working.

In fact, if anyone pays attention to lyrics to song when they sing it, it usually is a message a story a window to the artist soul.

Chester’s latest release “Heavy” ft Kiiara was basically a cry for help, and if you take some time to listen to read the lyrics. He talks about wanting to let go.

So maybe “Heavy” ft Kiiara was Chester’s goodbye to us.

There is no way to know for sure.

But i urge everyone to stop jumping to conclusions especially when it’s regards to mental health. Pay close attention with what people are trying to say.

Cause maybe if someone read his lyrics and told him “Hey, are you good? is there something you need to get off your chest, is your demons coming back again?”

He might’ve been with us today, or maybe he did have someone say that to him and it wasn’t enough. Sometimes those things happen.

What is important is to try.

R.I.P Chester Bennington

Heaven has another Angel. God bless.