Snow days remind me of home, a place I didn’t leave to long ago. It inspires me to look within myself and remember who I used to be.
For a while I forgot what I loved… I forgot that writing as a piece of me and having a voice was so important.
I’ll let today be the beginning, beginning of the end. End to a dull life, end to giving up on my dreams. The beginning to being who I’m supposed to be.
Thank you snow.
So for the past couple of months I kind of have been shutting myself out from the world.
Alienating myself in every way and I also realized that’s not good for me or for my loved ones, because I’m hard to be around when I’m in the head space… so I’m going to take baby steps to come out of my cave and be a part of society again.
About two years ago I had back to back catastrophes in my life and my instinct was to retreat, however I grown complacent with this unhealthy state, confided in just one person and no one deserves carrying all that weight.
So I need to get it together… and be better and that’s what I’m going to do within the following months just find my better self again.
Stay tuned for a mass production of art and stories as I go through this journey of coming into the world again. Wish me luck ✨
It’s crazy the amount of conversations that will never happen I write down In my notes. Books that will never be read, thoughts that will never be spoken, stories that will never be told.
I probably already created a million universes by now, broke up with you a million times, married you five seconds later, became a world famous author had three kids and a dog. Yet none will ever know
All hypothetical situations that never came into fruition hanging out at the palm of my hand… Only the virtual pages of my notes has experienced them yet will never tell a single soul…
How much I thought created, loved, laughed, lived inside my head day after day year after year never having the courage to bring it to reality. The secrets in my notes. How badly I wanted… everything and more.
Pro tips for a drama free life
– burn sage
– if you’re getting stressed about what a certain group of people are thinking or saying about you CUT THEM OFF even if they’re your “friends” real friends don’t have you watching over shoulder and feeling like you need to be on your A game to hang
-Tea drink a lot of teaaa and water
– Read books
– Party less sleep more!
– Do one nice thing for yourself daily, be nice to yourself… (still working on that one)
-Most importantly trust God, The Universe whatever higher power you believe in trust them that they will make everything a okay! 🥰
I like the sound of the car purr
the lights click when you’re about to take a turn
The wet tires on the ground
Most of all I love the silence in between us
Which allows me to appreciate all these other sounds
Of us going somewhere, anywhere
Not staying in the same place…. the sound of change.
It was a beautiful story
It started like this
We ran away from a night club
Climbed a rooftop
On my way down he stole a kiss
We moved very quickly
Too good to go slowly
There wasn’t a moment
We dared to miss
Within a few days he called me his
Unfortunately within that time
I got sick
However he was addicted to me
So he met my parents
Gave me a sense of safety
It’s a short story
So it ended like this
I woke up one day, while he was asleep
Whispered “ ___ I love you”
His eyes opened up slowly
The next day
I get a message
It said “I can’t do this…”
“It’s too much for me”
So the end, then my eyes started to bleed
I guess that’s what living
Is all about
Close your eyes
Eliminate the doubt
Hold my hand
Make me yours now
If it was easy
It wouldn’t be worthwhile
Lick my wounds
Heal me now
We are two broken parts
Looking to be together
Don’t steal my heart
If you won’t make it
The only place you’re alive is in my memories, so I’ll be thinking about you so I can keep you here with me
Those who says love dies have never loved at all, because whenever I can’t sleep I close my eyes and go back to that moment where I fell asleep in the worst place and when I opened my eyes you were looking at me and keeping me safe.
Although I can’t remember when I last saw your face, the thought of you keeps me warm on cold days.
I’m not ashamed
Of the things I done
The things I said
Whether in person
Or via text
I am who I am
With a stubborn heart
Universe in my mind
Finding light in the dark
Most in my place
Wouldn’t show their face
Once they realized their mistake
However I face them with no disgrace
It’s my cross that was placed
I can carry its weight
Sometimes it gets heavy
Life escapes me
But I push myself back up
Brush off the dust
I believe in God
He told me to carry this
Because gave me his trust
I’ve betrayed many
But for him my loyalty is steady
For he knows my heart
Understand my soul
Keeps all the secrets
That no one knows
Shows me after every end a new start
SOO what’s up with this stigma around mental health, that you have to be messed up to go to therapy?
This angers me, among many things. Right now though this is getting under my skin the most!
On the contrary, therapy is for sane people, it’s for logical self aware people. Who realize that there might be something bringing them down or something that they need to get off their chest that is blocking them from something they desire to have or be.
Truly deranged, insane, mentally ill to an extreme, are usually too sick to willingly go to therapy.
The desire to see a therapist can’t be forced upon you it has to come from within, because there isn’t any point in having a conversation with someone you don’t want to speak with?
( I know most of you know what i’m saying because I’m sure most of us if not all had to have a forced conversation with someone, and we tend to throw those in the garbage as soon as it’s over.)
So with that said being said, i truly hope those who believe that therapy is only for “screwed up” people will reconsider. Realize it’s one of the best ways to treat yourself getting an unbiased opinion in you troubles or recognition in your accomplishments.
Everybody deserves to love themselves, feel good and have confidence.
That’s what therapy is about learning to love yourself in a world where there seems to not have enough love.
So if your feeling any type of way, or simply just want a nice convo to get you thinking and want to be in a better mental place. Invest in a therapist
Hope this helps