Posted in Mask Off

Secrets of the Notes

It’s crazy the amount of conversations that will never happen I write down In my notes. Books that will never be read, thoughts that will never be spoken, stories that will never be told.

I probably already created a million universes by now, broke up with you a million times, married you five seconds later, became a world famous author had three kids and a dog. Yet none will ever know

All hypothetical situations that never came into fruition hanging out at the palm of my hand… Only the virtual pages of my notes has experienced them yet will never tell a single soul…

How much I thought created, loved, laughed, lived inside my head day after day year after year never having the courage to bring it to reality. The secrets in my notes. How badly I wanted… everything and more.

Posted in Mask Off

“Adulting” it’s a blur

Lately I’ve been finding myself drinking coffee every morning, as like a power outlet and without it I cannot function, absolutely not…

A hazy memory are the days, where I got to binge watch shitty reality tv shows, read celebrity gossip, and the fact that “Becky” from homeroom likes the same guy as I do was my biggest “issue”.

Today, sleeping until 9:30 AM is the equivalent of sleeping until 2pm, “unacceptable” and throws off my whole schedule. It seems like time has become a scarce resource and 24 hours is simply not enough for one day.

It leaves me covered in guilt when my puppy beckons me to play with him, I apologize to him saying I simply do not have time to give him my love, as I try to finish my tasks before my next job begins.

Now all the times, my parent’s couldn’t give me attention as a child it makes sense… It’s like you are on this train and the destination is great things, and you can’t make it stop or get off.  You know you need to keep pushing it to reach that destination.

I guess this is adulting… When you’re priorities no longer revolve around you indulging but it is towards a greater good.

It’s not a terrible thing, not at all, just a bit overwhelming, it’s like i’m trying to change the world, but there is 7billion of them and only one of me. This took me 22 years and a little bit of  “Plato” but I am finally becoming understanding.

The reason I write this, is because I know for a fact i’m not alone. Definitely not the only one that feels this way, a lot of us are on the same boat. I just want you guys to know, whoever feels overwhelmed or that life is suddenly going too fast.

You aren’t in fact alone there are a lot more of us than you think, we are just in hiding. Fear of burdening people with our problems. But i’m not hiding anymore, because even if my words and struggles burden 10 people I know at least 1 person will no longer feel alone.

That’s what I am about. That’s why I’m here. Trying to cure everyone’s loneliness.

Posted in Poetry

Love of Another Life

somebody asked me who you were

i told them the love of my life

how could that be?

you’re not by his side

i just know he’ll make me his wife

 

he has another girl

you’re not part of his world

but i am his world that i know