Snow days remind me of home, a place I didn’t leave to long ago. It inspires me to look within myself and remember who I used to be.
For a while I forgot what I loved… I forgot that writing as a piece of me and having a voice was so important.
I’ll let today be the beginning, beginning of the end. End to a dull life, end to giving up on my dreams. The beginning to being who I’m supposed to be.
Thank you snow.
It’s almost a shame that the best source of art is pain and love. It’s only when I’m in misery or I’m completely in love I find myself compelled to tell tales and write poems.
Those are my purest moments of inspiration… Tragic
So for the past couple of months I kind of have been shutting myself out from the world.
Alienating myself in every way and I also realized that’s not good for me or for my loved ones, because I’m hard to be around when I’m in the head space… so I’m going to take baby steps to come out of my cave and be a part of society again.
About two years ago I had back to back catastrophes in my life and my instinct was to retreat, however I grown complacent with this unhealthy state, confided in just one person and no one deserves carrying all that weight.
So I need to get it together… and be better and that’s what I’m going to do within the following months just find my better self again.
Stay tuned for a mass production of art and stories as I go through this journey of coming into the world again. Wish me luck ✨
It’s crazy the amount of conversations that will never happen I write down In my notes. Books that will never be read, thoughts that will never be spoken, stories that will never be told.
I probably already created a million universes by now, broke up with you a million times, married you five seconds later, became a world famous author had three kids and a dog. Yet none will ever know
All hypothetical situations that never came into fruition hanging out at the palm of my hand… Only the virtual pages of my notes has experienced them yet will never tell a single soul…
How much I thought created, loved, laughed, lived inside my head day after day year after year never having the courage to bring it to reality. The secrets in my notes. How badly I wanted… everything and more.
A blessing and a curse
How deeply I feel
It’s how I find these words
However I live
Where it snows
The winter is brutal
And the people are cold
Too caught up
In their own world
Obsessed with their reflection
Who and what is passing them
Unless it benefits
It’s, you’re irrelevant
I guess another word Is selfish
I wear a disguise
So I can fit in this world of lies
In reality, I feel very deeply
I was born for the warmth environment and soul
Every minute spent here I die a little
A white rose
You gave me
On a summer day
You smiled at me
Said don’t be afraid
We laid on doorsteps
You played with my hair
I stared into your eyes
They never told me lies
Back then it felt right
The rose stayed in glass
One day our friend passed
Our rose I laid on her casket
With all my love I sent her off
A white rose
Away it goes
Life wasn’t ever meant
To make sense
I learned that then
See me for my soul , love me for my flaws. This pretty face and body will one day fall apart. So when you decide to love me or take interest in me, do it because you got to know me and you see the good that no one else sees.
Because you feel a connection and you been thinking about me since the day you met me, you remember it so clearly you knew what I was wearing.
I’m tired of being acknowledged for my physical condition.
There’s got to be more to a person than just a body.
Ever stop to think…
Who were you…? You know who were you before the world gave you your first scar. Because isn’t that what we are just a collection, of scars and memories. Our experiences doesn’t it.. set us apart in a way?
So back to the question… Who were you before your first heartbreak and it doesn’t necessarily need to be romantic because a heart can break a thousand ways.
Did you trust blindly, did you love fearlessly, was the world pure and without sin, did you never tell a lie, were you kinder, maybe transparent, did you show your emotions. Most importantly? was your mask off?
Now that you stopped and thought, i’m sure most of you realized you’re wearing a mask hiding what you once were. Because if anyone saw the real you, you fear you would be weak, and vulnerable like when you were before.
But jokes on you, you were your best self when you weren’t afraid to be yourself.
So here we go…
Screw it mask off…